


Yellow | l.s. ✓

by lovelyxlwt



Category: Harry Styles - Fandom, Larry Stylinson - Fandom, Louis Tomlinson - Fandom, One Direction (Band)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, No Smut, Short, Styles - Freeform, harry - Freeform, larry - Freeform, louis - Freeform, stylinson, tomlinson - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-04
Updated: 2020-12-04
Packaged: 2021-03-09 23:48:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 11,816
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27874842
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovelyxlwt/pseuds/lovelyxlwt
Summary: Yellow (adj.) The colour yellow has often been connotated with happiness and joy and positivity. Yellow is a bright colour that captures the attention immediately, it is often used to highlight something important. However, not everything yellow means is bright and sunny. Like most things in nature, this bright and happy colour has a dark side. Throughout history, the colour yellow has been used to describe something cowardly or betrayal.In which Louis is conflicted between being true to himself and pleasing everyone else and Harry wants nothing more than Louis to finally be happy.Based off of the Coldplay song 'Yellow'.This is purely fictional, I mean no disrespect to Harry or Louis.Please give me honest feedback, I hope you guys enjoy reading this book, it's helped me to fall back in love with writing.
Relationships: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson
Comments: 5
Kudos: 9





	1. 'Look how they shine for you'

**Author's Note:**

> Hello lovelies! I hope you all enjoy my story, I adored writing it. Before you read it, please keep a few things in mind.  
> \- I wrote this when I was quarantining during my exams period. This story was born from a place of boredom and I just needed to get it out.   
> \- I am fifteen years old, so therefore I lack the experience of many creators on here. I accept feedback, but hateful comments will be removed.  
> \- I suffer from severe dyslexia. For anyone who doesn't know, dyslexia is a difficulty with processing words and when I read, it looks as though letters are swapping place and moving around. Please be patient with my spelling and sentence structure, if anything doesn't flow cohesively then I'm sorry.
> 
> Listen to the song this story is based off here: https://youtu.be/7PDUO3l8xiM
> 
> Happy reading!

The room is dark with only the painted light of the light sky. It makes patterns against the plain, white wall behind a teenage boy's head, casting a shadow that reminds one of what the boy could've been if he only dared to accept himself and live his truth without the worry of hurting those he loved and cared for. He felt wrong just sitting there and thinking. He wanted to be somebody to someone and he knew that he would never get there.

The boy's mind raced around in vicious circles, not slowing to a stop when he heard the familiar ringing of his phone. He sighed, picking it up to answer it. He exhaled a small breath when he heard the deep tone of his boyfriend's voice.

'Hey, Louis.'

Harry spoke slowly and softly, his tone hinting to Louis that he was in one of two places - the first one being stuck in traffic on the way home and the second one is just exiting a long meeting with people who thought they knew what the best thing for both boys was.

'How long 'til you get home? I miss you.' Louis surprised himself when his voice cracked a little. He didn't know if it was from lack of use or from crying as he had earlier. Frankly, he didn't want to think of either being the option.

'I miss you too. Just forty more minutes and then 'm all yours.'

Louis felt himself smile for the first time that day. The whole day had been filled with pacing and overthinking, the two not proving to be a good combination. He had beaten himself down all day, constantly thinking of the worst possible outcome and he was exhausted.

'All mine.' Louis repeated, the small smile turning to a slightly larger one. He could almost hear Harry rolling his eyes from the other end of the line. It was perfectly perfect.

(Well, it was for all of two minutes, but that's beside the point).

'Did you go outside today, Lou?' Harry asked after a few moments of a more anxious to get home to his Louis.

' 'm sorry for letting you down.' Louis said in a small voice, making Harry's heartbreak.

'It's okay, darling. Did you speak to any of the boys?'

The silence from Louis told Harry everything he needed to know.

'How long 'til you're back. I need a Harry cuddle.'

'Don't avoid my questions, please. Did you speak to anyone or not?'

Louis sighed before answering his boyfriend.

'Fine, I didn't.' Louis sounded sad and defeated, making Harry feel like he had a knife twisting in his heart.

'Love, you know your social anxiety and agoraphobia isn't going to get any better. You're just going to make yourself worse and I'm not going to just sit there and let you torture yourself. I love you and I want what is best for you, yeah?' Harry's tone was soft yet his words still made him flinch. He was so vulnerable and he knew that Harry meant well, but it still hurt.

'S-sorry. I'll see you later, yeah?'

'Okay love. And I promise I'm not mad at you, we'll talk about other things when I get home.'

'Thank you. I made us some food, by the way'. Louis whispered. He smiled to himself a little, knowing that he had accomplished something.

'Thank you, baby. I took the shorter route home, turns out that if I skip the motorway, our house is only ten minutes away!' Louis' face was split open by a smile, filling his whole body with happiness. Louis hung up the phone, clasping his phone tightly to his body, exhaling for what felt like the first time that day.

Nearly ten minutes later, Louis heard a key twist in the lock to his flat. He gripped his pillow, always feeling anxious when he heard a key entering the lock. He hated having to hide all of this away from paid everyone - all the fans, the media, heck even the other boys - and be the person he was paid to be. It was frustrating and made him feel like he could never amount to anything the way he was. What he hated most was the irrationality of what scared him. He knew that Harry would be coming home and he hated that his fucked up mind always took him to the worst possible conclusions.

On arrival, Harry immediately looked over to Louis who was cuddled into a blanket on the sofa.

'How's my baby?' Harry said in a soft, coaxing voice. Louis visibly relaxed hearing Harry talk, scuttling to his boyfriend's side and attaching himself to him.

' 'm okay. Jus' missed you, that's all.' Louis' voice as on the brink of being inaudible as he spoke quietly and had his face buried in Harry's hoodie.

'I know you did baby. You hungry?'

'Yeah, but I want cuddles first.'

Harry had to force himself not to coo at Louis, but this time it was near impossible. To stop himself, Harry placed his lips to Louis' temple, leaving a kiss.

'We can stay here for as long as we want, okay?'

Louis turned to face Harry, a content but small smile on his lips.

'Was today an okay day, love?; Louis aid after about five minutes. All the energy that he had lost worrying had come back and he didn't feel as emotionally weak as before.

'It was... interesting.' Harry said, hesitating a little. Louis' brow furrowed at Harry's hesitation, desperately trying to make whatever made his boyfriend's day difficult.

'What happened? All I know that when I woke up, you weren't there.'

'I'm sorry love. I feel awful about this morning.' Harry looked away from Louis, avoiding eye contact.

'It's okay, I know you had a good reason. Do you want to talk about everything?'

'I just don't understand... what've we done so wrong? What is it that we've done to make us feel like I need more monitoring? They know about your mental health and how I help you, why does that have to jeopardise your well-being because we're together? It's just so frustrating.'

Harry ran his hand through his hair, squeezing his eyes shut. He just felt so frustrated. He knew that Modest's oppression was their problem, but a small part of him wished he could make it easier by doing the stupid PR stunts or by not interacting with Louis. For the most part, his loyalties still lay with protecting his boyfriend. Harry would never say this to Louis, but Louis was vulnerable and he needed someone there to encourage him at all costs.

'Hey, no tears, please. It's going to be okay? Louis said his thumbs trying to wipe the tear tracks of off Harry's slightly red cheeks.

'Sorry.' Harry said, embarrassed.

'Look at me, please.'

Harry had his eyes glued to the floor. Louis reached out to hold Harry's chin, cupping it slightly between his index finger and his thumb. He lifted Harry's chin so that

Harry was forced to meet Louis' eyes. The dark blue of the outline of Louis' irises was filled with concern, making Harry feel immediately guilty.

'I want you to know that as long as I have a say in things, this relationship isn't gonna be one-sided. Please feel however you want to feel, I don't want you bottling everything up because you don't feel like I'm strong enough.'

'Louis I-'

'I know you never said that I'm not strong enough, H. But I feel like you have to be strong for the two of us.'

'Louis, I fell in love with the boy that I met at The X Factor for a reason. I don't care that you're quiet and anxious in large crowds. You're only human, and so am I so I'm gonna make sure you're safe and happy, yeah?'

'Y-yeah. Thank you.' Harry kissed Louis once again, glad that he felt Louis' body relaxing against his. The two boys stayed like that for a few hours until Louis began to complain that he was hungry. He stood up, shivering at the loss of contact. He knew he was clingy, but he didn't ever think that he was that bad.

'What did you prepare us earlier, love?' Harry asked, pulling up a chair and sitting on it. Louis was a great cook and Harry loved watching Louis, sometimes sneaking up behind him to steal a swift kiss or to dip his finger into the raw cake batter when Louis baked something. Cooking was one of the only things Louis had confidence in, so Harry heavily praised him after every meal was made.

'I was thinking about making tacos.'

'Beef?' Harry said, his eyes lighting up. Tacos were his favourite. Wait, correction - the tacos Louis made were his favourite.

'Yes. Beef, Harry. And red pepper.' Louis smiled, rolling his eyes fondly.

'Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey! You know tacos are my favourite.'

'Why do you think I made them? I'm not entirely thick, you know.'

'Touche.'

Cue the eye roll.

'Are you just going to sit there or are you gonna help me?' Louis had his back turned to Harry, Harry knew that Louis was smiling. Sneaking up behind Louis, Harry snaked his long, muscular arms around Louis' tiny waist.

'Babeee, I'm trying to focus on not burning our dinner.' Louis whined, secretly loving the contact Harry was giving him.

'Just one kiss? Please?' Harry said, fluttering his eyelashes. The stupid gesture made both boys falling about laughing. Louis attacked Harry's lips with his and was pushed into the cabinet as he kissed his boyfriend. The food was forgotten about as at that point, all that Louis cared about was Harry and all that Harry cared about was Louis. The mutual respect that the couple had made their bond unbreakable, even though they had been forced apart before.

The only time the kiss was broken was when Louis began to smell burning food.

'Shitshitshit!' He shouted, detaching himself from Harry to sort the food out. Luckily, the food didn't taste all that bad. They ate whilst making small talk - something Louis hated when it was with anyone other than Harry - and laughed. It was about 9 pm by the time they had finished eating and Harry lifted Louis, ignoring his boyfriend's squeals.

They ended up outside, staring up at the night sky. Harry was looking up, admiring the stars that illuminated the night's sky above them. The clouds moved in patterns that wowed Louis, the complexities that he knew he would never understand were both humbling and terrifying. The vast mass of blacks and blues and whites and golds contrasted together to make something awesome and incomprehensible. The stark contrast of the dark navy and pitch blacks - things so synonymous with fear and anger and sadness- and the golds and whites that preached an angelic, hopeful glow was something that seemed far out of reach yet so touchable at the same time. It made Louis think fo what it would be like to be up there, feeling the clouds around him and watching how insignificant his and Harry's issues were. Louis felt naive like he was the only person in the world. He felt scared yet complacent, free yet trapped in a cosmos that thought their ideologies of happiness would match perfectly with what Louis had envisioned for himself.

From the other side of the small balcony, Harry was watching Louis, taking in every single little thing and almost tattooing it onto his brain. This Louis looked free to him, this Louis' eyes had a spark in them. He wanted this Louis more often. He walked towards his boyfriend as if he didn't want to awaken him from whatever state of mind he was in, smiling when Louis took a step in his direction. He reached out his arms, holding them wide and smiling to himself. He wrapped Louis in a tight embrace. Harry pointed to the brightest star he could see before looking to Louis.

'Look how they shine for you.' he whispered, so impeccably quiet that Louis himself had to strain to allow himself to hear.

Maybe someone or something was watching over him after all, telling him and hoping that one day, he would be as free as that single star was.


	2. 'They were all yellow'

Before the band started, Louis would have described his world as yellow. He had the best group of friends and he accepted himself for who he was and who he loved. His family was stable and he had parents who loved and accepted him the way he was. On his face was a constant smile that glowed, making his whole face light up. His aura radiated love and positivity and everyone loved his happy and goofy character. No one ever told him how to act, he was just Louis, the happy-go-lucky lad who had so much love to give and even more love to receive.

Louis had always known that he had liked boys, so it came to no surprise that when he came out, everyone else knew too. He remembers the night that he sat everyone in his house down and came out to them all. Their smiles and proud words made his heart feel warmed and from then on, he had made a promise to himself that he would never dislike himself for something he couldn't change.

Oh, how things changed.

There's a saying that goes 'the cruellest thing that can happen to a person is for them to meet the one they are perfect for and the world to be against that.' Louis had been told that by someone - he couldn't remember who - and had just brushed it off as a corny saying that meant nothing. Unfortunately, that saying was one that dictated the rest of his life.

Louis' world was still yellow the day he auditioned for The X Factor. He went on the competition with the hope he would get through to the live shows and finally make it. He had never wanted anything a badly as he did that day. Money had always been scarce for Louis' large family, and for everything that his family had given Louis in the ways on acceptance and unconditional love, Louis wanted to give back. If - one day - he sold a number one album or ever got just one hit single, the money would go straight back home. Louis didn't think he would ever deserve anything that he got, and those who loved him deserved it more than he ever could.

On the day of Louis' audition, he woke up early and drove with his mother down to Manchester where his audition was scheduled to take place. He was shaking with nerves, he didn't think that it was possible for his smile that was like sunshine to falter. It did that day - despite Louis getting through to Bootcamp - and Louis' yellow began to dim.

That was the first time his world was anything less than bright.

Fast forward to the first day of Bootcamp. Louis was a nervous wreck. On the day of his first audition, he had barely interacted with anyone, feeling too anxious to interact with anyone. He was determined that today would be different. On the drive down, he looked to his mum with a smile. He could tell that Jay was more nervous than he was, so he reached out his hand and squoze Jay's hand, his smile softening when he felt it shake. He turned to her, a small smile on his lips and his blue eyes sparkling.

'Let's make someone's day today, mum'.

On hearing her son's words, Jay let herself exhale. She felt beyond lucky to have Louis, he was her sun. She knew Louis had what it takes, but she just hoped that he would never lose the things that made him so special.

That day was the day that Louis first met Harry. He knew that the curly-haired lad had been at the Manchester auditions and had seen his heard his audition. He was incredibly strong vocally and Louis admired how he was so young but so confident. Louis took a deep breath before walking over to him, blushing as he awkwardly pulled up a chair. He fell over the leg, nearly landing on top of Harry.

'Oops!' Harry exclaimed, holding Louis by the shoulders and trying to steady the boy. He looked to study Louis' face and was taken aback by the blue eyes and long hair. The boy was... beautiful. 

_Surely_ , Harry thought to himself. _Boys can't be beautiful_. He laughed it off, shaking his head.

'Hi. I'm Louis. You're very pretty and very close to my face.' Louis said, a blush on his cheeks. Realising what he said, his eyes widened and he clapped his hand over his mouth. The whole thing was incredibly cute to Harry, making his cheeks turn a dark red.

'I'm Harry. It's a pleasure to meet you.'

'Likewise.'

The rest of the day was spent talking easily. By the end of just two hours, Harry and Louis felt as if they had known each other or ages. There was no element of competitivity or anything, they just wanted to support each other.

When the two boys didn't get their names called at the end of the day, they both felt gutted and broken apart. Louis was beginning to see what the world could be like. For the first time, things weren't yellow. Things being yellow or Louis was almost like a safety net, a way that he knew that he wasn't going crazy. He liked things being a certain way - this being everything happy and open and positive - and to have his first major confidence knock scared him. He just hoped he hadn't let anyone down.

Louis' first instinct was to check on Harry. The sixteen-year-old lad was far more vulnerable and wanted this more than Louis could even imagine. When he saw Harry sobbing brokenly in the corner of the room, he immediately went over to him. It was Louis' first instinct to get some cheesy jokes in there, seeing Harry;'s wide smile and adorable boyish dimples disappear scared him and made things hard.

_'Let's make someone's day today, mum'_

Now was as good as a time as ever.

Louis headed in the direction of Harry, ignoring the other crying contestants. Louis did feel upset, but he had a habit of hiding his own emotions because he wanted to make others feel happy. He had been told that he needed to make time for himself, but Louis was always the type of person to put others first. It made him feel good, it made him feel like he had some kind of purpose.

When he got to Harry, he tapped the younger boy on the shoulder, unintentionally starting the younger boy.

'What the-'

'Sorry, I didn't mean-'

'Louis, it's fine. Thank you for coming over to check on me.'

'Its's okay. How're you holding up, kiddo?'

'I'm just mad at myself. I want this, and I don't know where I went wrong.'

'You didn't do anything wrong, I promise.'

'You mean that?' Harry sniffled, his tears coming to a stop.

'Of course, I do. We're friends now, obviously, I'm gonna comfort you. You're sad and I don't like it when people are sad.' Louis gave Harry a small smile, hopefully encouraging him to smile back at him. When Harry did smile a small smile, Louis' face broke apart until he was smiling widely at him. Louis could feel himself almost have an aura around him and it was infectious.

'You have a lovely smile.' Harry said quietly, looking down.

'Thank you.' Louis said in the same quiet tone, being careful to tell Harry that he heard what he had said but at the same time, not make Harry feel insecure.

There were a few moments of awkward silence, brief eye contact and blushed cheeks before either boy spoke again.

'Let's go over and stand with the other contestants, yeah?'

'C-can I hold your hand? Sorry, I'm just so nervous.'

'Of course.' Louis held out his hand and Harry took it in his, feeling grateful for the contact with another person. They walked off hand in hand and stood still, waiting or them to either be called back or told that it was all over. Harry was beginning to get worked up again, Louis began to massage small circles into the back of Harry's hand, letting himself help Harry relax. They stayed wordless until the host came out, calling their two names as well as the names of three other boys and a group of girls. Harry looked to Louis, immediately desperate for reassurance. Louis smiled at Harry, the small gesture making him immediately feel like he was safe again.

'We've decided to put you through.' Simon said, and at that moment, Louis' world was a brighter yellow than it had ever been. Harry jumped into Louis' arms in the heat on the moment and the rest of the boys stood, watching on in support.

The rest of The X Factor was the happiest that Louis had ever been. He would receive compliments about his wide smile after nearly every performance and his everything just seemed so bright. Himself and Harry had moved in together and they felt free and happy.

When the first 'I love you' was spoken, the world seemed to light up into not just the yellow Louis was used to, but into a bright rainbow, all the colours merging and making the world swirl dizzyingly. Hues of blues and pinks and yellows and reds and golds and ochres mixed with the overwhelming feelings of euphoria at such a rate it made Louis feel like he was alive, almost as if before he had been sleeping and now he was finally able to awaken and experience the world.

Things changed dramatically in what felt like a blink of an eye.

The band had been hugely successful and Louis was a favourite with the fans. His red jeans and blue and white t-shirts and suspenders went hand in hand with the messy fringe and flamboyant actions that made Louis recognisable amongst both fans and the media. Online, people had begun to assume that something was going on between Louis and Harry. For Harry - who had been closeted before the X Factor started - this was a great thing. The idea of coming out as something that defied society's heteronormative boundaries was terrifying to Harry, he had always been shy and preferred to blend in instead of standing out. Unfortunately, he would learn the hard way that rumours could take the person he loved away from him.

'Louis! Get ready, it's the gay bar performance tonight!' Harry called from the lounge. He knew how excited Louis had felt for this performance - Louis had told Harry that he was going to 'gay this one up'.

Louis emerged from his and Harry's bedroom with a blue t-shirt and red jeans which were cuffed to show off his triangle tattoo. He had gotten this only a week ago as his subtle way of coming out. Fans had picked up on it and it and supported him as they always did.

'How do I look?' Louis said, almost shy.

'You're amazing, you look beautiful.' Harry said, leaving forward to press a kiss to Louis' lips.

'Thank you. I love you.'

The show was amazing. Louis had gotten very drunk and been acting like himself for the first time since he became famous and everything was so bright. A little too bright. This was the first time Louis' yellow world had become negatively overwhelming, and it was kind of terrifying. He was down and expecting the worse.

The worse came at three in the morning when his phone begun ringing. Louis woke up, hoping that Harry was still sleeping.

'Pack a case, you're flying to LA.' a voice said through the phone. The voice sounded rough and deep and overall not too kind. Louis' head spun and he felt dread fill his body. He didn't know what was happening.

'What's this about? I'm confused.'

'Don't ask questions, kid. Just pack a bag and meet us outside in 10 minutes.'

'How do I know the validity of this call? How do I know you're not someone who has plans to kidnap me or something?'

'Look, I'm from Modest. Just do as you're told or you'll make everything worse for yourself.'

The line went dead as Louis forced back tears. He didn't know whether to wake Harry; he knew his boyfriend would be beyond nervous and scared if he was gone when Harry woke up.

'Harry, love. Wake up please.'

'Lou, what's up?'

'They need me in LA, they're coming to pick me up in ten minutes.'

'Why?' Harry was suddenly sat up in bed, eyes wide with fear.

'They told me that I couldn't ask any questions. I need to pack.'

'I'm coming too.'

'Harry, I don't think that's a good idea. I have a feeling that this is about last night's performance.'

'Okay love, please call me when you get there.'

'I will, I love you.'

Louis packed a quick bag, the yellow that seemed too harsh earlier fading quickly, Throughout the plane ride and the meeting, the yellow that Louis was used to fading, leaving Louis completely. When he got back home to Harry.

As Louis is snuggled into Harry's side on the balcony nearly 3 years later after trying to piece himself back together, he can feel his yellow returning. It starts as a pale glow, before coming back at full force. He hears Harry whisper in his ears, his boyfriend's words sinking into his brain.

_'Look how they shine for you'_

'H, I think it's coming back to me.'

'What is, love?'

'The yellow.'

'I'm so proud of you, baby. You deserve this, okay? Don't tell yourself you don't, I know what you're like.'

'Can we keep this between us? I love the other boys, but I don't wanna jinx anything.'

'Of course. My brave Louis.' Harry pressed a kiss to Louis' hair, proud of his boyfriend for being able to heal.


	3. 'I wrote a song for you'

'H, what time do we have to go to the studio today?' Louis called from the bedroom. He was sat up in the bed that himself and Harry shared, his hair dishevelled. It had been about a week since Louis had started to see the world as yellow again and he was terrified of the bright, happy colour going again and making his bright world turn to monotone. Losing his yellow was the scariest time for Louis. He had developed agoraphobia and social anxiety and he didn't trust himself. It was like he was weak without it, almost as if the yellow that he used to have was like some sort of lifeline. Now that he had it back, he swore to himself to never even become close to losing it again.

When Harry didn't reply, he called out again. This time, instead of silence, Louis was met with sniffles. He walked over to the bathroom door, opening it slightly and feeling his heart break when he saw Harry crying into his hands. He was only wearing his boxer shorts, all his other clothes discarded. The mirror was covered by a black t-shirt, telling Louis everything that he needed to know about the situation.

'Oh, love. C'mere. It's okay, yeah?' Louis perched next to Harry, rubbing small circles into the bare skin of Harry's back. Harry shrank into Louis' open arms, letting his body go pliant against Louis' touch.

'Why are you still with me, Louis?' Harry said, his eyes filling with a new wave of tears.

'Why are you asking? I love you, Harry, of course, I'm still going to be with you. What's made you think like this? Was it twitter again?' Harry was looking down and studying the floor like it was the most interesting thing in the room.

'I can't help looking through Twitter, Lou. I'm a self-critical person, the fans want me to do better and I don't want to let them down.'

'Listen to me. The fans who treat you like shit, tell you that your body isn't good enough and sexualise you aren't fans. You deserve everything, okay? Please, _please_ , try and stay off Twitter for a little while, you can log into your account on my phone, yeah?'

'O-okay. Louis?'

'Yes, bub?'

'D-do you think I'm fat? B-because everyone online never fails to tell me how disgusting they see me as, and I'm tired about it. It's getting bad, love. I don't want to have to look at myself.' Harry's voice was soft and his eyes were desperate. He needed validation, and he needed it fast. He hadn't felt so sad and scared and confused since the day Louis got taken from him nearly three years ago, and he didn't ever want to go back to that dark place.

'If you ever feel like you anything less than perfect, you have to tell me, love. I care about you, yeah? I'm not blaming you for not telling me that you were feeling sad, I just want to make you feel happy.'

' 'm sorry, baby.'

'It's okay, just remember that I'm always here for you.' Louis kissed the side of Harry's temple before standing.

'We've got songs to write, H. Let's go before Liam kills us for being late again. He said the car should be outside in fifteen minutes.'

Harry stood up, following Louis out of the bathroom. He sat himself down on the bed, watching as Louis pulled out two pairs of black skinny jeans, a baggy jumper for Harry and a t-shirt and denim jacket for himself. Harry smiled gratefully at Louis knowing to get him a jumper that he could hide in. He quickly pulled the clothes on, having already showered that morning. Tying his curls back in his favourite blue bandana, he walked up to Louis and gave him a quick peck on the top of the head, making Louis smile fondly up at his boy. He felt so in love, Harry was the only thing that made mornings bearable. Louis quickly dressed, throwing on the jeans and t-shirt as quickly as he could. He went downstairs to prepare himself and Harry some tea and as soon as he had put them in travel mugs, Liam and the other boys had arrived to pick them up to go to the studio. He grabbed two croissants, tossing one of them to Harry and keeping the other one to himself. Harry was quickly throwing on a tan pair of Chelsea boots and Louis hastily tied the laces of his vans, before running out to the car.

'Morning, Tommo! How was your break?' Liam asked as he saw Louis. The band hadn't seen each other seeing as they had had a two-week break from writing and touring. Today, they were starting to write the album again and tour kicked off again. Louis was beyond relieved to have his yellow back for the tour; it was draining to have the relentless workload that he had without it.

'It was good, thanks, lad.' Louis smiled whilst answering, his happy answer confusing Liam a little.

None of the boys knew what changed the night Louis was taken to LA against his will. All they knew was that he was forced to sign contracts and get a fake girlfriend. Louis was sure that the change in personality that getting the yellow world that he used to have back wouldn't be easy to hide from the boys, and he would tell them eventually. The problem was, with one direction's busy schedules, there had never seemed to be the right time for what would surely be a very deep, very emotionally-taxing conversation.

Harry took a hold of Louis' hand, startling him a little and jerking him out of the thought train he had slipped into.

'Hey, it's only me! No need to jump. Sorry for startling you baby. I just wanted to say thank you or this morning.' Harry said sincerely.

'You know you don't need to thank me, Hazzabear. I love you, you know that.' on hearing the old nickname, Harry blushed. He hadn't heard that pet name come out of Louis' mouth since... well, you know.

'Zayn, get your camera! 2011 larry are back!' Niall called, laughing hysterically at his joke. Niall's laugh immediately set Harry off, and Louis - who would've usually been mad at Niall for coming out with comments like that - just smiled fondly at the two boys. He felt _so goddamn happy_ , he knew the comment was just a little bit of fun.

From the corner of his eye, he could see Zayn and Liam silently watching him, having a conversation purely in stares. He had always been closest to the two of them than he had with Niall and he felt like they knew something about him that he hadn't told them. Even if it was about something so personal like what the colour yellow meant to him, he was happy that they knew.

Louis talked easily with the four boys, exchanging banter like he always had. He didn't feel burnt out like he had grown used to, and it was refreshing. When they arrived at the studio, there was a wall of fans and paparazzi.

'Normal procedure, lads. Heads down, don't interact with fans or paps.' Paul called from the front of the car. Louis took a breath, steadying himself. He always hated crowds. Louis sqoze Harry's hand, searching for comfort. He made eye contact with his boyfriend. He relaxed when Harry gave him a small smile and nodded his head reassuringly. He took a breath as Paul opened the door, greeting the boys with a wall of screams, clicks and people shouting his name. He put his hands onto Harry's shoulder and put his head down. He blocked out the screaming yet when he reached the doors of the studio, his breathing ragged. The rest of the lads piled in with Paul, standing for a second to let the lads catch their breath.

'You alright, Louis? You look pale as a ghost.' Zayn said, concern written on his face.

'Y-yeah, fucking hate crowds.' Louis said, laughing a little.

'Catch your breath, yeah? We'll get to writing soon, we all get to write songs alone today.'

'Wait, we're writing songs alone?'

'Yeah, bro. Did you not know?'

'No.'

'Are you gonna write about Harry?'

'Yeah, we talked this morning. I wish he didn't go searching for hate comments, it makes me so sad that people who call themselves fans and say those awful things.'

'I know, he has you and he's so grateful for that. Believe me.'

'Thanks, Zayn. You're a good friend.'

'Any time, bro.'

'Alright lads, do you want to follow me?' Jamie - the main writer the boys were working on the new songs with - said. Louis was the only person that had worked with Jamie before, so he immediately started to make banter with him because they were all in the glass lobby still. As soon as they walked into the corridor to where the green rooms were, Louis waited for Harry and took his hand in his.

'Hi, love. Are you okay? Excited for the sessions today?' Louis asked, smiling at his boyfriend.

'Yeah, what are you gonna write about baby?'

'I haven't thought about it,' (he had, but wanted to keep it as a surprise for Harry.) 'have you?'

'Yeah, I've got a few concepts. One of them is about you and how you see things - with your yellow and everything.'

'Oh? I'm excited to hear it. What are you going to call it?'

'I was thinking of something along the lines of _Happily_? Like I have an idea for the chorus, I'll sing it if you want? It's only one line.'

'I'd love to hear it.' Louis smiled widely at Harry, feeling his heart fill with love as his boyfriend began to sing. It was only one line, but it was perfect.

Louis' happy mood stayed relatively positive for the rest of the day. The song that he had written didn't get put on the album, but Louis had never intended it to be. The song he had written for Harry's ears only for now - maybe when he was allowed to be open, he would put it out for fans.

Once the two of them arrived home, Louis immediately went to the keyboard that was set up in one of the side rooms. He called Harry asking him to sit down and begun to play a few chords.

'So, uhm, you know how my song didn't get put onto the album? Yeah, it's because I wrote it just for you.' Louis blushed, stuttering a little. Harry sat opposite Louis, nodding his head. He didn't want to ruin Louis' moment by saying something.

Louis began to sing, accompanying himself with a few soft melodies from his right hand and smooth chord changes on his left. When he had finished, Louis' voice was shaking and Harry's eyes were brimming with tears.

'Did you write that about this morning? About my insecurities?' Harry asked in a small voice. Louis nodded, standing up to make his way to Harry, who engulfed Louis' small body in his arms.


	4. 'I jumped across for you'

It was a week later, and the boys had just left for tour. They had a press conference beforehand in Manchester, and they were due to stop off at the interview before they arrived at their first concert of the UK tour, which was in Glasgow. It would be about around a seven-hour drive from London, so it meant a 3 am alarm, the first early morning of many. As the alarm went off, Louis groaned, turning over to Harry, waking up even more when he didn't find Harry's warm body on the other side of the bed.

'Harry?' he called out sleepily, wanting to know where Harry had gotten to.

'Don't panic, love. I'm here, it's okay. Open the door please.' Harry's morning voice was rough but soft, immediately shaking Louis out of his dreamlike, tired state. Louis stretched, getting out of bed and padding across the floor. The room was a little cold, making Louis miss the warmth of the duvet that he had been cocooned in. He opened the door and on the other side was Harry holding a tray that was topped with pancakes, maple syrup and two cups of tea. Harry looked adorably proud of himself, his eyes shining in the dimly-lit room. Louis smiled at Harry, his first instinct was to hug his boyfriend - which was made impossible due to the addition of the tray - so instead, he took the tray off of Harry and set it down on the bed.

'I know how much you hate early mornings. I hope this made it a little easier, it's okay if you don't like it-'

Louis cut Harry's rambling of by pressing his lips firmly to Harry's in a kiss that tasted a little like morning breath. Because of this, it didn't last too long.

'Stop being such a worrier! It's gonna be perfect, H. I'm pretty much positive that none of the other lads have been able to say that they've had breakfast in bed.' Louis smiled fondly, crinkles forming around his eyes. Harry blushed, looking away. It always melted Louis' heart about how easy it was for him to still make Harry blush, even after all these years of dating. It was almost like a superpower, and Louis' favourite thing was finding new ways of making Harry's porcelain skin turn to different shades of rose.

Louis began to eat the pancakes that Harry had made, putting on rashes of bacon and then pouring maple syrup on top of it. Bacon and maple syrup pancakes were his favourites and whilst he wouldn't be hungry at 3 am on a normal today, he ate his food quickly and then got up to brush his teeth once Harry had finished eating. He then started on his tea - Yorkshire tea, obviously - and pulled Harry's lanky body closer to him. He ran his fingers through Harry's hair, ruffling his curls now and again. Kisses were planted, making Harry grab onto Louis' shirt, desperate for more attention. After a little meaningless but very cute morning babble, Louis straightened his posture and looked at Harry.

'Wait, how long have you been awake, Mr Styles?' Louis asked, raising his eyebrow. He knew how much Harry liked to be productive but he also knew how tired Harry used to get on tours.

'Only for about half an hour, since about 2:45?' Harry said innocently, looking up to Louis' face with wide eyes.

'Baby, you need as much rest as I do.'

'I couldn't sleep! I was too excited about the tour!' Harry pouted in a defenceless manner. Louis had to bite his lip to stop himself cooing at Harry. It failed, as he received a playful slap.

'Ow! What did you do that for?' Louis whined, being unable to get mad as Harry was just having a little fun.

'Sorry love, I just don't lie it when you coo at me. I may be cute and a delight to be around, but I'm not a puppy!' Harry said with mock anger, making Louis quickly excuse himself to the bathroom so he wouldn't end up accidentally 'aww'-ing at Harry.

Once he was alone, he let out a yawn and looked at his reflection. He had bags under his eyes due to tiredness and his hair was a mess. Thinking fast, he hopped into the shower, turning the water temperature down to cold so it would wake him up a little. He put a blob of shampoo onto his palm and began to massage it into his scalp before rinsing it out and applying conditioner. Louis never took long in the shower and he came out of the bathroom to see Harry on his phone. 

'Shower's free if you want it, love.' Louis said to Harry, making his boyfriend look up and get off the bed. Harry grabbed one towel for his body and one for his hair, making Louis roll his eyes, Flipping off his boyfriend as he did so, he grabbed a pair of joggers from his draw and pulled on one of Louis' baggier jumpers. Due to the difference in proportions, it was snug on Harry but he didn't mind because it smelt of Louis.

When Harry came out of the shower, Louis was double and triple-checking both of their suitcases. Harry was sure that Louis had spoken to Liam and become frazzled because Louis was never a baggage-checker.

'Louis, baby. Relax, okay? I checked everything before we went to bed, it's fine.' Harry said as he walked up behind his boyfriend. He wrapped his long arms around Louis' thin waist, feeling Louis' body go immediately plaint to the touch Harry was giving him.

'Thanks love. Are you excited?'

'Very, it's gonna be great. The venues are massive!'

'I know, I feel like we made it this time.'

A comfortable silence fell for a matter of moments as Harry stood in the middle of the room, holding Louis tightly. It was broken by a knock at the door and bright headlights against the bedroom window.

'That'll be Liam. It's now or never.' Louis said, picking up his and Harry's backpacks as well as his suitcase.

'Let me, love.' Harry said, taking Louis' suitcase from him.

'Thank you, darling.'

The two boys shared a smile and a kiss before walking down the stairs. It was their last moment of louisandharry time before everything kicked off, and it felt special.

'Oi oii!' Louis shouted when he saw Liam, giving his friend a bro-hug.

'Louis, don't! It's four in the morning for fuck's sake! Besides, how do you have so much energy?' Liam groaned.

'Harry made me bacon and maple syrup pancakes and we ate them in bed.' Louis said, blushing a little. Liam raised an eyebrow, studying Louis' face.

'Tommo, I'm straight but I'm seriously considering stealing your man.'

'Hands off! He's mine.' Louis pouted, making Liam laugh.

'Get inside, you idiot. I'll help Harry load your stuff into the car.' Liam said fondly, ruffling Louis' hair and cringing when his hair was wet.

Louis climbed inside the car, careful not to wake a sleeping Zayn and still save a seat for Harry. He said a quiet 'hello' to Niall who looked beyond exhausted. Louis had to stifle a laugh when the only response he got was a massive yawn. Harry climbed in next, snuggling himself in next to Louis. Liam sat upfront with Paul and the car started moving. It was a fifteen-minute drive to where the bus was and the boys would have time to sleep once they got onto the bus.

When they arrived, no paps were waiting for them. Louis held out his hand and interlocked his fingers with Harry's lazily as they walked together to the bus. They walked up to the tour bus and claimed their bunks. It was a known fact that Louis would always claim a bunk just to put all his mess on and sleep in Harry's bunk, so Harry let Louis chose where they would be sleeping. Louis chose one around the middle of the bunk, close to the gaming room. It was a perfect spot and allowed them to get an early night if they wanted one. Louis climbed into the bunk, having to jump as it was one of the top rows. When he couldn't get up himself, Harry laughed and lifted Louis onto the small bed, receiving the mixed message of a middle finger and a grateful smile from Louis.

'I bloody hate being short.' Louis grumbled. Harry laughed a little, stroking Louis' hair. Louis; height was one of his largest insecurities and Harry resented people for making fun of him, but Louis' height meant it was impossible to stay mad at him.

'Hey, at least you have your giraffe of a boyfriend to reach the top shelf for you.'

'True.' Louis turned to kiss Harry gently, however, he was interrupted by a suddenly wide awake Niall shouting 'the lovebirds are at it again! Zayn, Liam, c'mere! I think Larry may be real!' down the length of the bus. Louis just rolled his eyes and went back to attacking Harry's lips with kisses.

The rest of the four-hour drive to Manchester was spent with napping and lazy kisses. When they arrived, it was about 8:30 in the morning. Louis felt wide awake and was excited for the rest of the day. The interview was at 11 o'clock, so the boys all had about two and a half hours to kill. They had been instructed by Paul to stay on the bus as getting mobbed by fans wasn't a good thing for anyone. Louis got out his phone, deciding to tweet a little something.

_Hey everyone! Can't wait to kick off the TMH tour in Glasgow tonight, its gonna be special :)_

Within minutes his phone was blowing up with replies and retweet notices, all of the fans looking out for each other and being excited about the start of the tour. It was special to watch how the fans all interacted with each other, it made Louis feel that social media was positive.

'H, do you wanna stay here and cuddle or do you wanna play some video games?' Louis asked, having turned his phone off due to the overwhelming amount of notifications.

'Stay here and cuddle. I'm not looking forward to the interview, I don't want to have to lie about everything.' Harry sounded miserable, so Louis turned around in Harry's arms. He was going to try and make Harry sile again, but it was hard because he had forgotten about Eleanor during his time off. What sucked the most is he could feel the yellow that he saw the world through fading a little. He tried to forget about it, but it was difficult as he was scared it would go completely again.

All the time off that Louis and Harry had spent trying to fix themselves and re-discover their love was going have to be forgotten again.

'Harry.' Louis said, deadly serious. He just had an idea that he knew would land them both in trouble, but he was desperate to stay true to himself. He reached for his phone, clicked on Twitter and began to type.

_Whether we're together or apart we can both remove the masks and admit we regret it from the start_

Louis hit 'tweet' before logging into Harry's Twitter account, passing Harry the phone and urging him to say the same sort of thing. He began to type, this time writing the lyrics 'I don't want to wait any longer. I just want to tell the world that you're mine'. Harry hit tweet before turning Louis' phone off and sinking back into Louis' arms.

'Whatever happens, no matter how much trouble we get into for this, promise me that you'll still want me when we wake up tomorrow morning.' Louis said, urgency apparent in his voice.

'Always.' was all that Harry replied, planting a kiss onto Louis' forehead.

Fortunately, that the leap of faith they just took opened up more open discussions in the interview and neither Louis nor Harry were asked about girls the entire time.


	5. 'I drew a line for you'

The concert that night went well and the reaction from the fans from both Louis and Harr's earlier tweets had been insane. Management hadn't deleted the tweets but they had been told off. The conversation was awkward as Louis had gotten the giggles halfway through, making Harry give Louis his well-rehearsed 'shut-up-or-you'll-make-me-laugh-too' look. This was the first time that management had ever let them get away with something as explicitly obvious about their relationship and many fans still hadn't connected the dots that the two tweets were connected.

After the show, the bus was filled with the best kind of party energy. The show had been incredible, it always amazed everyone how dedicated fans were. Between the funny signs and the fancy dress costumes people wore and the wall of people screaming back the lyrics that meant so much, the atmosphere for just one show was brought from the audience at the arena back to the bus. It was almost impossible to come down from that sort of energy buzz, and Louis' yellow was brighter than ever - something that he was very grateful for.

When the partying died down, it was nearly 2 am. Most of the crew had been up for about 24 hours and weren't taking the boys bullshit any longer. They all needed sleep because they had another show tomorrow and a day full of rehearsals. As Louis met Harry in their bunk, he stripped into a fresh pair of boxers and a baggy hoodie that Harry used to wear all the time.

'So, did you enjoy the show tonight?' Louis said quietly. He didn't want to attract the attention of other people on the bus as he was aware they were all sleeping.

'Yeah, it was great.' Harry said, not meeting Louis' eyes. This was an immediate sign that something was up and Louis wasn't about to let Harry be miserable.

'Hazza? You seem down, are you okay?'

'I guess.'

'I know you, and I also know that 'I guess' is your way of saying 'I'm fine, please don't worry'. Talk to me, bubs. I want to help you.'

'I'm not ready to lose you again.' Harry said, sighing. Tomorrow, Louis had been told that Eleanor would have to stay with the boys to cover up the mess that his and Harry's tweets had caused. He had barely talked to his beard in his time off, and the media were becoming a little suspicious. Louis sighed before answering Harry, choosing his words carefully.

'Harry, I want you to listen to what I'm saying and I want you to understand why I'm saying this. I'm "dating" Eleanor to keep our reputation. This is a huge sacrifice, and you know I don't love her the way I love you. In my mind, it's only you, Harry. Eleanor is just there so Modest can cover up what we have. Their prejudice and homophobia isn't our fault, okay love? It's just our shitty timing. I know it sucks when she's around, but I promise you, as soon as the paps are out of the picture, it's going to be the way it should be again, just you and me, yeah?' Harry sniffled, tears rolling down his face. He was so grateful to Louis, but he wished that he would've taken on what Louis had. He still felt guilty that Louis sacrificed everything by being forced to sign that contract, and what made things worse was that the contract was still going to have Louis trapped for the next five years.

'I feel so bad about it all, Lou.' Harry said, more tears begining to fall.

'Shhh, baby. I know, I know you do. It's alright, you're alright. I'm not going to let that loss of freedom stand in our way of happiness, and neither should you. We know what we have and I know how much I mean to you. We love each other unconditionally, and that's what matters, yeah?'

'Yeah. I jus' love you so much, and I don't want you to become all sad and scared and anxious because of her.'

'I know, love. But laying here with you, I'm being true to myself and that's all that matters. The boys know that we love each other, so do our families. I just have to put a mask on when the public sees me, H, and that's out of my control.'

'But you'll never be truly happy whilst you're trapped in a mask and contracts.'

Louis sighed, almost like he was defeated. Honestly? He knew Harry was right. His boyfriend knew him better than Louis knew himself, and that was something scary. He was immensely lucky to have got himself a partner who was willing yo do all that Harry did for him, and he wouldn't give it up for a minute.

Louis just wished, sometimes hoped that what Harry said was true. All the times that Harry spent obsessing over a mask-less and contract-less future was wearing him down. He loved Harry's optimism, but it was a little overwhelming when he put so much on the future when Louis was so stuck in the past.

'Please don't get upset, little one. I'm not going anywhere and that's a yellow promise.'

'A-a yellow promise? We haven't made one of those since the day we moved in together.'

'Yes, a yellow promise. Does that show you that I'm not going to leave?'

'It does, I love you.'

The concept of a 'yellow promise' was something that Louis and Harry had come up with the night that Louis first told Harry he loved him and they had a talk about Louis' yellow for the first time. It was very significant to the couple, for a yellow promise meant that one had to go for something with only the love of his partner and a positive headspace. It meant that accommodations - however great or small - would be made to make sure that the person going forward with the promise would always do the thing that caused the most happiness.

In this case, it meant that Louis had to spend as much time with Harry whenever Eleanor wasn't around - which was an easy change to make as it wasn't that much of a change at all. It meant that Louis had to be with Harry for those low moments as well as the high times. It meant that the two were bound together without a way out. For Harry and Louis, a yellow promise was as strong or as binding as the contract that Louis had signed all those years ago.

'I'm sleepy, Lou. Can we sleep now?' Harry said, his eyelids heavy from both tiredness and crying.

'Of course, love. Do you want me to hold you?' Louis asked, his voice still soft.

'Hold me, please. I want to be sure that you'll still here when I wake up.'

'You know I will. Forever and always, remember?' Louis said, intertwining his smallest finger with Harry's. The whole thing was incredibly cheesy but in the best way.

Harry had been awake for nearly 10 minutes when Louis started to stir. He had been contemplating going to get a glass of water or go to the toilet, but because of Louis' death-grip, he could barely move. Harry successfully managed to detach himself from Louis.

'Hazzaaaa 'm still sleepy, come back to bed.' Louis said softly, his hair sticking up in all directions and his small hand curled up to rub the sleep out of his eyes.

'Louis, no. We have the game room to ourselves, no one else is up. We can cuddle there, no one else is using there.'

Louis flopped back onto the bunk. It wasn't as comfortable as the plush, blanket-covered sofa in the gaming room, so sighing he swung his legs out of the bunk and jumped onto the floor, landing softly. He made his way into the room near the back of the bus, sitting himself down and laying his back against the back of the sofa. It was more comfortable, yet he prefered the privacy of his bunk bed. Harry came through a few minutes later, carrying two mugs. Louis accepted the blue one and smiled at Harry. He was grateful that Harry never teased him for always following the same routine. For Louis, he found safety in structure.

'What time is it, love?' Louis asked, looking at Harry through long eyelashes.

'5:30, sorry for waking you.'

'It's okay, we can watch the sun come up through the windows.'

'That sounds nice.'

The silence that followed wasn't exactly awkward, it just felt like Harry and Louis were caught between a static. Something felt off, and it was a little worrying. Trying to get his head to shut up, Louis nuzzled into Harry's side, tucking his small body perfectly into Harry's side. It reminded Louis of a memory of one of his most yellow days.

The day was when Louis had taken Harry home to meet his family for the first time. When they arrived at Louis' childhood home, Jay was immediately there with comforting drinks, easy chatter and hugs that one would die for - literally. He remembers sitting with Harry, neatly tucked into Harry's side. Jay had said that the two of them looked like 'jigsaw puzzle pieces' - meaning that she saw them as perfect for each other or as though someone had literally crafted the two of them so they could fit seamlessly into one another. After to the long drive back to London, Louis had booked himself and Harry into a tattoo parlour and they had gotten their first set of matching tattoos - puzzle pieces on their wrists. Louis forgot the pain of the tattoo almost immediately, only ever focussing on the good things.

In Harry's eyes, Louis shone not yellow, but golden that day.

As the sun began to rise over the unfamiliar place they were driving through, Louis sunk deeper into Harry's side, almost like he was trying to become one with his boyfriend.

'You're quiet.' Harry observed.

'I am. My boyfriend is literally fucking Sherlock Holmes.' Louis said dryly, rolling his eyes.

'So you're alright then?' Harry asked, looking curiously at Louis.

'Yeah, I have you and that's all I need. I was just thinking about something.'

'What?'

'Do you remember the day we got our puzzle tattoos? I think I'm getting back to that level of happiness, and I just want to thank you for that.' Louis' once jokey voice was thick with sincerity and Harry swore he could feel the once fragmented parts of the once broken boy he held in his arms coming back into place.

'Of course, I do. Do you remember the words I spoke to you that day?'

Louis studied the floor guiltily. He felt awful for missing the one detail that clearly meant the most to Harry.

'I'm sorry, H. Tell me about it.'

'That night, after we got our tattoos done, you snuggled down into my side like you are doing now.' Harry spoke slowly and softly, prodding Louis' check with his finger. It was obvious that it meant a lot to be sharing this moment with Louis. 'I said to you "me and you against the world", right as you rolled your eyes like you always do when I say something dumb or cheesy. See, you are dong it right now. For me, those six words mean more than "I love you" ever could. to sit here today and know we both feel the same fills my heart with joy.'

'The promise-'

'I've been thinking that all the time since you made that promise.'

'You have?' Louis said, his eyes brimming with tears. Harry was his everything, his anchor and his saviour when everything got too hard.

'I want to grow old with you, Louis Tomlinson.'

'Will it still be me and you against the world?'

'If I have something to do with it, then yes.'


	6. 'Turning into something beautiful'

Watching someone heal is a beautiful thing. They may express the process externally or internally, kits entirely individual to the healer. But either way, the strength of watching those who have had the world treat them unkindly treat the world with kindness is something that should be something that is cherished.

Harry had the liberty of watching Louis grow for ten years.

OIts July 11th, 2020 and Louis has just broken away from Syco. With shaking hands, he types out a tweet.

_Hope everyone is doing ok! Just wanted to let you all know that I and Syco Music have agreed to part ways. I'm really excited for the future and to be back in the studio writing the next album. Can't wait to finally see you all on tour!!_

_Stay safe and see you soon, Louis x_

As he hit tweet, he broke down into Harry's arms.

'You did it, Lou. You made it.'

'No, Harry. We made it.' Louis got up onto his tiptoes to kiss Harry, giggling when Harry lifted him. He used to hate moments like this, but now he couldn't care less. He had Harry and they were as in love as they had ever been.

A lot had changed in the last seven years. Harry and Louis' loved had grown stronger, and Louis had become a lot braver. The band had gone their separate ways, but they were all still close and fans were eagerly anticipating the tenth anniversary of the band. Most importantly, Louis didn't have to make compromises any more. He could live freely and not have to worry about disappointing people. He had learned that to be truly happy, you had to put yourself first, so that is exactly what he did. He had come a long way, and no one was prouder than him than Harry was.

Within seconds, the notifications to Louis' phone were blowing up like never before, messages of support from fans and his bandmates were bombarding his Twitter and he felt loved beyond belief.

'I've gotta say, love. As far as fans go, your lot are insane. I can't believe it. Have you seen what they've trended?'

Louis unlocked his phone, clicking over to the Twitter icon on his cluttered home screen. He laughed to himself as he read through the trends - his favourite being 'FUCK SUYCO' in block capitals. The last time he had felt support like it was on the final one direction sho when he hugged Harry in front of over 30,000 people. The screams were that loud that the vibrations could literally be felt. It was a special moment, one that the couple had cherished ever since.

'Can we announce it yet?' Harry asked eagerly. Harry had had significantly more freedom than Louis upon leaving the band and had been out as queer since 2017. Harry had never seen the need to label his sexuality, so he never did. It was something that Louis admired, a small part of him thought that if he hadn't been so closeted and faced such homophobia, he would feel the same way.

For Louis, a label was like a safety blanket. It reminded him of his yellow, something he still had and still relied on. He knew that the positives of a label outway the negatives, but at the same time, he felt like it could be used against him. He was comfortable with himself for the first time since he had lost his freedom, and it felt thrilling.

'How should we say it? I'm so nervous, I wasn't expecting this to come so soon.' Louis rambled. The pacing was an anxious habit that he had had since childhood, and he was doing it subconsciously.

'Mr Tomlinson, stop pacing, you're making me dizzy.' Harry said lazily from the sofa. They still lived in the same house that they had in 2013, they had the money for something better, but the memories were too precious to leave behind.

'I just- sorry, H.'

'Hey, don't apologise. C'mere, I want a Louis on my lap.' Harry said, chuckling to himself. Louis rolled his eyes, not letting Harry know that the thing he just said make his heart swoop. Louis sat down on Harry's lap, wrapping his legs around Harry's waist and pressing their foreheads together. The whole thing was sickly sweet, but pure bliss.

Half an hour and an uncountable amount of lazy kisses later, Louis decided that his anxiety had settled enough to make the announcement. He scrolled through his camera roll, trying to choose the perfect picture. He chose one of his and Harry's fingers intertwined, their bedsheets lying haphazardly on top of them. He opened Instagram before clicking the 'plus; icon. He selected the photo before typing out the caption 'Forever and Always. @harrystles x'. After clicking 'post', he turned his phone off and exhaled.

Seeing Louis' post, Harry decided to copy the action. He selected a picture of him planting a kiss onto Louis' cheek that they had taken the first time they went to Amsterdam all those years ago. He typed out a similar caption ('Me and you against the world. All the love, H x @louist91'). Clicking 'post', he turned his attention back to his beautiful boyfriend.

'I can't believe we just did that.' Louis said, laughing a little.

'Just you wait, the surprises aren't over yet.' Harry said, a mischievous glint appearing in the mass of green that made up his irises.

Louis' yellow was bright, but not in a harsh way. It made all the surroundings appear as if they had turned to gold, the room glinting like sunbeams. It reminded Louis of the day he looked to the stars with Harry, the night that his yellow came back to him.

Unbeknownst to Louis, Harry was behind him, holding something that was actually golden. The ring was concealed in a light blue box that Harry had custom ordered earlier that month. He knew that Louis was about to be free, so he did everything in his power to make Louis feel as loved as possible.

'Remember what I said about surprises? Turn around, my love.'

When Louis turned and saw Harry down on one knee with a small box containing a ring, he broke down for the second time that day. When Harry stood to comfort his boyfriend, Louis sank into Harry as he always did, slotting perfectly into his other half. 


	7. 'For you I bleed myself dry' - Bonus Chapter

In Greek Mythology, there is an ancient ideology that the Greek God Zeus spilt every soul in half, making a human's purpose to search the globe for their extra half.

In 2012, if Louis would've been asked if he thought he would marry the boy with the curls and green eyes who he fell on top of at the X-Factor, he would've probably asked.

That Louis wasn't the same Louis who was getting ready to walk down the aisle to greet his to-be-husband later that day. That Louis was the sad, angry young lad suffering from internalised homophobia and seeing the world through a depressing monotone filter. That Louis was afraid to embrace himself for who he was, the boy who spent years crying himself to sleep, wishing that he would be normal. He was the 'least talented' member of the world-famous boyband, one direction.

Looking into the mirror on his wedding day, Louis saw the person who he could've only dreamed of being all those years ago. The Louis who was reflected in the mirror was the person who loved unconditionally and wholly. He was the person who accepted everything and brought out the joy in the world and others. He was utterly devoted to his husband, the person he would die for.

Nervously, he read over his vows for the sixth time.

_Harry,_

_First of all, I want to say thank you. Thank you for your patience, and kindness. Thank you for seeing through all my darkest days when I couldn't bring myself talk to anyone or leave my room._

_When we first started dating, I let people bring us down, I put barriers in place. I let my world which was once filled with the brightest and happiest colour fade to shades of grey and black. And it was difficult, I felt so worthless. I used to question for hours why you still liked me because I felt like I was impossible to love._

_I guess above all, you taught me how to love, how to be brave. When I was at my lowest, you were a torch who guided me out of the dark. When I couldn't fight my battles for myself, you were there fighting beside me. As I stand here now, I finally know what love is._

_So, this one's to us. Like I've said from the start, it's us forever and always._

_You are always in my heart, always on my mind. You are my last thought before bed, my first thought when I wake up. Yours sincerely, Louis._

As he wiped a tear from his cheek, Louis looked towards the doorway. Standing there, where his mother, Harry and Harry's mum Anne.

'My baby boy.' Jay cooed as Louis smiled his bright, sunshine smile.

'Hi, mum.' Louis said, drying his eyes.

'How're you feeling, baby?'

'Excited. Its gonna be amazing.'

And it was.

_Fine._


End file.
